Diary of a Minion

http://diaryofaminion.blogspot.com/

Grand Navy of the Imperium
Imperial Third Fleet, Ninth Squadron
Gunstar-Class Battlecruiser "Vengeance"

Plasma Cannon Technical Team VTT-10
CT2 Armin Shale

Technician's Log
SID 23109.27
---------------------------------------------------------

More fallout today from that disappointing weapons test last week. The guys in the Gunnery Cell have been looking at the tapes from the mock engagement, and now they're screaming that the targeting problem was due to mech-fail with PC19, and not due to human error. They claim that the tapes show clearly that the gun was slow to respond when the X-drones were targeted by the computer, which is why PC19 was unable to hit any of the X-drones (we call them "X-drones" because the practice ships are always painted with big, red crosses on their hulls, presumably to make targeting easier). I say that the guys in Cell 19 are just pissed that Cell 18 is the one that gets to have the pizza party, and, that, anyway, you can't rule out human error just because no one in Cell 19 is technically human. 

Whatever. I guess we're used to being the scapegoats. Looks like Sikes is going to have us run a full diagnostic of #19, like we don't have enough crap to do already. We're still working our way through the report from last week's audit, trying to correct all the DNCs that the helmet-heads found, plus, we just found out today that the Vizier is coming next week, so, holy gakk, you know, gotta get everything squared for that. So, yeah, just add "full plasma cannon diagnostic" to the stack.

Kind of a weird thing happened this afternoon. I was in the lounge, grabbing my afternoon coffee and bearclaw, when this dude bumps into me, nearly makes me spill my coffee. I'm all like, "Dude," but he just keeps on truckin', so, whatever. Then, later, when I'm back at my workstation, I reach into the chest pocket of my coverall for a stylus, and I find this little pamphlet. I don't know where it came from; the guy that bumped me must've stuck it there. I look at the cover: "The Good News About The Confederation". Aw, crap. I quickly wad some paper around the pamphlet and walk it over to the incinerator slot, where I toss it in. Don't want to be caught with something like that, not here. And, now I'm wondering if I should report the guy who bumped me. I mean, I don't want to; he's probably just a harmless hippie or something, but what if he's Imperator's Legion? What if he slipped me the pamphlet as a test of my loyalty?

Naw, he was probably just a hippie. Kind of smelled like patchouli, come to think of it.

Diary of a Minion

Grand Navy of the Imperium
Imperial Third Fleet, Ninth Squadron
Gunstar-Class Battlecruiser "Vengeance"

Plasma Cannon Technical Team VTT-10
CT2 Armin Shale

Technician's Log
SID 23109.21
---------------------------------------------------------

Snap audit today of the entire PC department; we found out, like, 30 minutes ahead of time. Sikes was freaking out, ordered Leeson and me to throw on some suits and do a quick EVA to make sure the GUN WAS CLEAN (seriously). As if it takes only 30 minutes to clean a Mark VII quad-chambered, multi-inductive plasma cannon, but, whatever- we suited up, did the walk, tried to hit the dirtiest parts of the gun. Got back inside just in time to greet Chief Belz and the black-helmets from Fleet. Chief and Sikes led the three auditors around the department, pointing out the metrics board (good thing we updated it last Monday) and the document library (fully compliant with Imperial SOPs, thanks to yours truly), the auditors muttering to one another behind their face-plates and tapping on their wrist-PADs all the while.

After the little tour was over, the three auditors split up and poked around for another hour- never asking questions, just observing, muttering, and tapping. We tried to get on with our morning duties, but it was kind of hard, what with the helmet-heads looking over our shoulders the whole time. I considered stepping out under the pretense of needing to visit the Gents', but quickly nixed that idea. I knew the auditors would bio-scan me on my way out, and I didn't want the helmets to catch me in a fib. I have anough demerits as it is. In the end, I just waited them out.

Around breaktime, the auditors left with Chief Belz and Sikes, so I ran to the lounge to get a couple of coffees for me and Leeson. On the way back, I bumped into Ignazipom, that gakko from Navigation. He was whining about climate control issues at the K-section terminals, and I had to remind him that I'm not with VTT-4 anymore. He said he was aware, but that he hadn't been able to get anyone from CC on the horn and he was desperate. "We're sweating our lobes off down there," he said, "and I've already had to send two guys to the infirmary to have theirs reattached." So, what could I do, turn the guy down? I dropped of Leeson's coffee, ran down to K-section, fixed the climate control (stuck co-processor, of course), then made it back to Plasma in time for the morning weapon test. It's called multi-tasking, people. Some of us can do it, and some can't walk and chew gum at the same time (Graeme?).

Diary of a Minion

Grand Navy of the Imperium
Imperial Third Fleet, Ninth Squadron
Gunstar-Class Battlecruiser "Vengeance"

Plasma Cannon Technical Team VTT-10
CT2 Armin Shale

Technician's Log
SID 23109.20
---------------------------------------------------------
Graeme was on me again today. First thing this morning, he was bitching about the column widths on the Weapon Test Report. I was all, like, "Graeme, I didn't realize the JWI for the WTR specified Imperium-preferred column-widths." Idiot. Then he gave me a hard time for ducking out in the middle of mid-morning department meeting. I'm like, "Dude, you should be glad I didn't hang around. Trust me. When I run out like that, there's usually a good reason," which, then, just led him to start whining about how long it had taken me. I'm like, "Uh, yeah, sometimes it takes a while, Graeme. It's not like I can plan these things." I swear, I hate that guy.

I don't hate that new blonde tech in AG, though. I don't hate her at all. Why'd she have to be in AG, though? "Most important tech team on the ship" my ass. Yeah. We get it. If the artifical gravity craps out, we all float around. Nobody can pilot the ship. The Star Lord gets pissed off, probably has someone executed. Ok. Look, I'm not denying that artificial gravity is important, but, hey, guess what else is important on a GUNSTAR? Yeah, that's right, the frelling GUNS. If the guns on a Gunstar don't work, well, then it's just, what, a medical frigate? Tugboat? So, yeah, cannon techs are pretty important, too. Anyway, maybe the dickishness of the AG group hasn't infected the pretty blonde yet. Maybe she'll get a clue that she works with a bunch of jerks and put in for a transfer.

Oh, yeah, there was kind of a commotion this afternoon. Some Confederation losers snuck onto the ship, apparently planning to spring a prisoner that we picked up last week (a former big-wig from Kamalos, supposedly). Anyway, these geniuses somehow made it down to the brig, where they ran smack into 2 platoons of Ghataki, as well as the Star Lord himself (he was "interrogating" the prisoner). So, anyway, long-story-short- big gun battle, corridors blown to bits, 3 service bots smashed, plus these guys get away! With the prisoner! I don't know, man. I guess they're not cloning Ghataki like they used to. On the bright side, I guess there are now two new openings for Ghataki platoon commanders! Yeah, thanks, but no thanks. I'm not interested in any job where being reprimanded involves a quick trip to the nearest airlock. On the other hand, at least I wouldn't have to deal with Graeme.